respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
