AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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