i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
