I feel great
I just peed on a car
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I lost the right to judge tonight
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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