We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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