nutella sex= disaster
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
