Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
