We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
