youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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