It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
