Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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