Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
