I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
