i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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