Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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