420 ftw
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
