then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize