The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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