What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
