on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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