i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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