well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
