Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
