I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
