hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
