I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
