How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize