you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
