i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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