Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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