im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
