i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
