My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
