try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
