your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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