don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
