Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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