Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
