you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
