Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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