It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
