dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
