I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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