Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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