if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he fucked my hip out of place.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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