i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
