The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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