quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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