laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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