ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
