we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
