i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
