Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
