Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
