The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize