you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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