Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
