Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
