You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
