Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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