no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
