the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
