he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
