he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
