Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
