Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
True strength comes from lack of pants
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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