does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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