i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
