she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
